Santa Will Never Be the Same Again Effed Up

This Male parent's Day I thought almost my begetter more than usual.  Maybe, it was the day, or possibly, it was all that is going on in the globe, merely he was on my heed throughout the mean solar day.   My father would take been uneasy with the protests even though he would have agreed in the principles of equality and justice for which the protestors marched.  However, he would non have understood or agreed with those who rely on vandalism and violence as their vox – to him property represented the sweat and sacrifice of men who similar him came from nothing to make something of themselves, only he would have kept to himself and said little.  He preferred to go on to himself, merely if pushed, he would let it be known where he stood and follow it upwardly with a "I don't give a rat's ass" if someone disagreed with him.  He figured if he had to agree with a person just to get them to similar him, to exist cool, to exist a part of the group, or to exist sociable, he was barking upward the wrong tree – a tree total of rattlesnakes he chosen them.  His children, a boy and 3 girls, were taught with no apologies to practise the same.  His rules for living were uncomplicated:  care for people like you want to be treated; correspond what you believe is correct; practice right; tell the truth; and be honest.

My father was a unproblematic human who often worked double shifts to make ends run into.  We were non poor, merely at that place were times nosotros held badly to the lesser rung of center form with mama in tears wondering where she might scrape together the monthly 60-dollar house payment.  Mama and daddy worked difficult with piffling extra to spare, simply never a year passed without birthday presents and gifts under the Christmas tree – the only two times during the twelvemonth my sisters and I received a toy unless daddy fabricated a slingshot from a tree branch or a woods doll cradle.  Dissimilar many children today, we did not dare turn up our noses at any altogether or Christmas present even if we might exist disappointed.  We dared non be beholden for fear there would non be a souvenir the next time around.  We were lucky tough, Santa Claus always brought us that one special doll or Red Rider BB gun we had prayed for all year.  Santa never failed us kids.  At the same time, nosotros never understood why daddy was gone so often during Christmas season.  We had no idea he was working double shifts to make Christmas happen.

By the time I was in high school, things were a little better.  Even though Daddy worked fewer double shifts, nosotros began to have a little actress money in the house.  The first matter he bought was a window air conditioner for the den area.  Mama and daddy saturday staring at that air conditioner and taking in the common cold air for at least two hours.  The adjacent summer, he bought our showtime color television later unsuccessfully trying for weeks to use ruddy and green cellophane to colorize the picture, and so my senior year, 1971, he bought the first new vehicle he had ever owned – a red Ford pickup.  We were in high cotton, but Mama cautioned my sisters and I not to talk of the new things Daddy had bought for fright the neighbors might think nosotros were foolish with our money and uppity.  Daddy frowned and curled his elevation lip when one of my sisters told him what Mama said.  If he could take had his style, I am confident he would accept told everybody in town.  I think he felt he had earned the right to be a bit uppity.  I would take to agree – he had every right.

All he wanted in life was for his family to be happy and to be left alone and to occasionally become to go hunting or on a family unit vacation to the Ozarks or the Smoky Mountains – the extent of his travels in his lifetime.  A loftier school diploma for his children was also important to him, and not going to school was not a selection in his firm.  To him, a high schoolhouse education, and a reasonable paying job – he believed good paying jobs were reserved for those who knew the right people – were the most of import contributions his children could give to the family; however, he did not stand in the way of his children if a higher education was their goal, which for me it was.

He was always careful not to get wrapped upwardly in politics or controversies.  Basically, he refused to argue at all unless maybe he was haggling over coin.  He said bluntly, "It is a waste of time to fence or reason with an evangelist, a politician, or someone who thinks his shit doesn't stink," and if yous wanted to argue that, he would simply grinning and walk away.  We did non always concur, but through the years, I take learned he had more wisdom than I gave him credit.  Similar any homo, he had his faults, but he was a good father, and he taught his children to represent what they believe regardless the direction the wind was blowing.

I approximate in many ways I am my father.  He would not concord with some stands I take taken, but I can hear him ask, "Do you think information technology is right?"  If I answered, "I do non know, or I am not sure," he would say, "Then don't do information technology until you are."  If I answered, "Yep," he would have nodded and changed the bailiwick feeling there was nothing left to say.   I tell this story because I should have told it long ago.  My father was a conservative; I am somewhere slightly to the left of him.  He was non a Democrat or a Republican; in that, he and I are on the same page.  Although he did his best to exist as skilful a man as possible, similar his father he was raised in a racist lodge; I was raised his son with some of those same influences, merely he taught me to be better.  He did his best to ensure his children grew up better and more agreement; I pray my children are better than I am, and considering of their mother, I am confident of it.

My begetter apologized to no man for who he was or how he was raised.  He spent his life trying to raise his children to be his better and reached out to whatever human being who needed a helping hand.  Likewise, I do not apologize to whatever homo for who I am or how I was raised, and I accept tried to raise my children to be improve than I am also as stand for the humanity and rights of all people.  That is all my father could accept washed.  That is all I can do.  That is all whatsoever of us tin can do.

We tin pass laws that promote the humanity and equality of all people, and we should, merely laws by themselves will not erase racism.  We will not erase racism in a lifetime of protesting, vandalism, and devastation.  Every offensive monument and statue can be toppled, and it will not erase where we take been nor will information technology build a bridge to where we should be going.  To change racism volition have one father and one mother at a fourth dimension doing their best to raise their children with more agreement and love in their hearts than they were raised.  Racism is not a color matter; it is a people thing.  None of us were born racist.  Racism is a learned trait bred and nurtured in the home, and that is where we tin make the almost significant advances against it.

I am who I am with the want to be better than who I am.  That is all nosotros can inquire of each other.

That is what my male parent asked of me.

©Jack Linton, June 21, 2020

This Christmas season, I have watched a tiptop twelve Christmas movie list on goggle box, and read at least two other Christmas movie lists online.  There are probably a hundred or more Christmas movies to choose from when making such a list, but if y'all look closely, nigh of the lists contain the same twenty to 20-five movies.  Unremarkably, the merely departure between list A, B, or C is how those 20+ movies are ranked.  However, my Christmas movie list is different in 2 ways: (1) it only lists the elevation five Christmas movies of all time, and (ii) it is based entirely on my preferences and opinion.  If you concord with my superlative five movies, fantastic, and if not, it's too cold to become jump in a lake, and then instead, get watch your favorite movies and forget mine.  Here are my superlative v movies beginning with number five:

#5 How the Grinch Stole Christmas:

The story is about a green creepy/goofy looking monster who hates everybody including himself.  He sets out to steal Whoville's Christmas, thinking by doing so, he volition take their joy from them.  Of grade, he is wrong.  His only salvation is Cindy Lou Who, who manages to thaw his cold heart and bring happiness to his dismal life.  As a child, I enjoyed the 30-minute blithe television special that aired at Christmas every year, but when Jim Carrey brought the Grinch to life on the large screen, I was amazed all over again.  The movie version with its occasional naughty innuendoes was fabricated as much for adults as kids, and it succeeded on both fronts.  Jim Carrey's over-the-summit performance was fun to watch, and the visuals were stunning.  Simply put, the movie looked, acted, and felt similar a holiday archetype.  It did non disappoint.

#4 Elf:

I am not a large Volition Ferrell fan, just his role as Buddy in Elf was exceptional.  I am non saying exceptional in an Academy Award sense, but extraordinarily fun and entertaining for kids and adults akin.   As a human raised past elves at the Due north Pole, the role of Buddy fit Ferrell similar a glove.  His trademark off-the-cuff antics, which are sometimes hilarious, just oftentimes just miss the mark, were perfect for his office as a lovable human-elf in search of his identity.  His innocent artless behavior in a world of Christmas commercialization was funny, charming, and magical. Elf is a holiday classic that should be on anybody's watch list.

#3 A Christmas Story:

One of my all-fourth dimension favorite holiday movies is A Christmas Story!  The story, set in the 1940'due south, centers around Ralphie and his quest for a Cherry Ryder BB gun for Christmas.  Throughout the story, everyone he turns to for help to get the gun, even Santa Claus, tells him, "You'll shoot your eye out."  Based on a story past Jean Shepherd, the movie is a trip back in time earlier 10-box, PlayStation, Star Wars, and prison cell phones.  It was a fourth dimension when kids played outside, and watched Westerns on television where the good guys and buy guys fought for supremacy with half-dozen-guns and lever-action rifles instead of laser swords.  In A Christmas Story, Ralphie faces school bullies, learns the horrible truth about secret decoder rings, has his oral fissure washed out with soap for saying bad words he learned from his father, and through it all, never loses sight of his perfect Christmas souvenir.  This movie is a piece of life from a bygone era, but it contains everything that makes Christmas special – family, memories, and the spirit of being served Chinese duck for Christmas dinner.  The kids may not fully appreciate the significance of playing outside or getting "double dog dared," but this is a Christmas motion-picture show the whole family should watch together.

#two The Polar Limited:

The number two picture show on my Christmas Vacation list, The Polar Limited, certainly deserves the honour.  The film stars Tom Hanks and is filmed in "performance-activeness animation," which results in a breathtaking movie spectacle.  Hanks and the visual beauty of the film are reasons plenty to come across it, but I simply dear the story!  The story is near a young boy who is beginning to doubt there is a Santa Claus, and on Christmas Eve catches a mysterious train, The Polar Express, to the North Pole.  On the railroad train, he meets other children like him, a sometimes-cranky conductor (Tom Hanks, who also plays several other roles in the moving picture), and a hobo.  One of the almost visually impressive scenes in the pic (there are many) is the singing waiters.  The offset time I saw the movie at home, I stopped the video at least three times to spotter that scene again and again; information technology is simply amazing.  Although Santa Claus appears in the flick, the picture is not about Santa. The Polar Limited is about bravery, friendship, and the spirit of Christmas!  It is a classic that should exist shared yearly as a family tradition.

#ane Information technology's a Wonderful Life:

The Christmas movie that tops almost everyone's list is It's a Wonderful Life starring Jimmy Stewart and Donna Reed.  It is the perfect Christmas masterpiece for the holidays.  The story is about an aggressive beau who sacrifices his dreams to ensure the dreams of others.  Continually hounded by miserly Mr. Potter, George Bailey (Jimmy Stewart) fights for the right of his neighbors to live a good life, and not struggle in the squalor of Potter's tenant houses.  Unfortunately, life does not always treat even the best people fairly, and after a disastrous incident, George wishes he had never been born.  With the assistance of a guardian angel, George learns how his life has impacted the lives of people he loves, and they are not complete without him nor is he complete without them. It'due south a Wonderful Life has cede, redemption, salvation, friendship, angels, and triumph over evil.  Information technology is the root for the good guy, boo the bad guy, feel good moving picture of all fourth dimension regardless of the season in which information technology is watched.  It is the movie that shows u.s.a. how to become our wings. It's a Wonderful life is the image of the Christmas spirit; therefore, information technology is my number one Christmas picture show of all fourth dimension!

Whether yous have a Christmas list of your own, or use 1 someone else has put together, the bottom line is grab someone you love or desire to brand friends with, and pop your favorite Christmas film in the DVD and share the Christmas spirit.  I double dog dare you lot!

Merry Christmas,

JL

©Jack Linton, Dec 22, 2017

Reading is extremely of import in my family, only non just whatever reading.  I am talking nigh engaging in scholarly, mind bending, and soul inspiring literature that stiffens the backbone and jolts emotions into overdrive.  I am talking virtually a passion that has given birth to a family Christmas tradition.  A tradition, so indoctrinated into the lives of my two sons that Christmas would non be the same without information technology.  Every Christmas for years I have presented each of my sons a special book that I often spent minutes picking out at a local book store.  Seeing the anticipation and excitement in their eyes and the misty jealousy in the eyes of their spouses on Christmas mornings is a highlight of Christmas for me.  Sharing in their love of reading, if but for the brief moment it takes them to unwrap their special book and lay it aside, is simply invigorating.  It brings so much joy that this past Christmas I included my oldest grandson in the tradition and gave him his outset special book.  Similar his uncles, I thought he coped extremely well.

There is only one book that tin command such attention and devotion.  Only one volume is tantalizing and fascinating enough to inspire a family tradition, yet information technology is seldom found in libraries or on home bookshelves.  It is a book that is most oft found with dog-eared pages and stained covers lying at the foot of the thrones of kings.  Actually, a series of books with over fifteen,000,000 copies in impress, it is a mainstay in homes across America where information technology holds a identify of prominence in America's number ane bourgeois and liberal "think tank."  Of course, I am talking about the one and only Uncle John's Bathroom Reader.

With over thirty titles and counting in impress, these books are filled with a perpetual cesspool of titillating facts, sense of humor, and trivia that only true connoisseurs of knowledge can appreciate.  These books are conservative America's respond to such classics equally The Swell Gatsby and Pride and Prejudice.  Instead of feeling similar crap muddling through and trying to stay awake reading such classics, readers of the Uncle John books can engage in flitter flatter of the brain while anointing the throne.  Unlike the classics that so often beckon with the glow of a flashlight with dying batteries, Uncle John'south Bathroom Readers come at y'all with the blinding splendor of a lighthouse on steroids.  The books are glaringly void of substance, yet thick and wickedly subtle in wit, and although, they may range from idea provoking (it happens) to pure crap (no pun intended), they are rarely boring, so get out of the way Fitzgerald and Austen.

For the discerning reader with a savory appetite for Americana, "The Bathroom Reader" is the ultimate escape.  Indulging in it brings a sense of WOW and clarity into the normal everyday drudgery of life.  You never know what awaits y'all in an Uncle John'due south book.  Equally a Christmas tradition, it might appear weird or outrageous, but what other tradition can evoke such Yuletide excitement from the kids as, "Really?  Again, this twelvemonth?;"  "Dad, why?;" "But, Dad, you gave me a paperweight last year!;" or "Thanks, thank you, thank y'all!  This is the one I needed to end the ottoman at the foot of the toilet."  Giving such a thoughtful gift brings a warm satisfied feeling, but the knowledge that I am giving my sons and grandson (I estimate my daughter and granddaughters could be included if they likewise had problematic gustation) something they tin can treasure for a lifetime is the ultimate holiday thrill.  Information technology is truly a tradition that brings tears to the eyes of loved ones.

Nonetheless, there are some who may doubtfulness the worthiness of a Uncle John'due south Bath Reader equally a Christmas tradition, but such doubts volition be put to rest one time they view the sample slices of bathroom wisdom in the following chart.  I am confident these gems will encourage others to kickoff their own Uncle John'southward Christmas tradition; it's not half equally crappy as it sounds.  Ask my sons and grandson!  The books have and so many uses; for instance, they make peachy pee-pee stools for the little boys in the family!

Slices from Uncle John's Bathroom Reader served with My Thoughts:

1. Uncle John's Bath Reader:   In 2012, John Hopkins University published a written report that said hydrogen sulfide, the gas that gives farts a rotten egg aroma, had been shown to reduce high blood pressure in mice.  The report suggested that someday the gas might be used to lower high blood pressure in humans.  The biggest question the researchers had was whether the act of farting or sniffing the fart lowered blood pressure. My Thoughts:  I wonder if they are still looking for human gas dispensers and sniffers.  Finding sniffers may prove hard, but I have a couple of grandkids that are natural shooters with unlimited natural resources. ii. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: The Japanese say they can excerpt an verbal chemical copy of natural vanilla from cow poo.  They plan to apply the cow poo vanilla in products such as shampoo. My Thoughts:  That would certainly give a new pregnant to a crappy pilus day. 3. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: Ancient Egyptians used a spermicide made from crocodile poo and dearest for nativity control. My Thoughts:  I don't know if the practice had much bear on on births, but I bet the mortality rate of crocodile poo collectors was high enough to stabilize the population. 4. Uncle John's Bathroom Reader: Sweetness Maria, a coffee roaster, markets a java candy from the poo of the Brazilian Jacu bird.  The bird eats coffee beans and passes them whole in its poo.  The edible bean is extracted from the poo, which when roasted and brewed removes the bitterness from the coffee. My Thoughts: I am non a coffee drinker nor can I say if being extracted from Jacu bird poo actually makes java less bitter, but maybe it does explain that gosh awful coffee breath. 5. Uncle John'south Bath Reader: Plant-based foods produce the virtually flatulence but non the smelliest farts.  Animal-based foods, specially eggs and meat, are rich in Sulphur; therefore, those foods produce stinkier farts.   Fructose (sugar that naturally occurs in fruit) is a fart-producer, every bit are compounds constitute in cauliflower, Brussels sprouts, broccoli, and, of course, beans. My Thoughts: All mamas and wives demand to recall this the side by side fourth dimension they force the kids to consume their broccoli or insist their husbands order the steamed vegetables with their steak.

P.S.   To my sons: Look through your inventories of Uncle John books, and send me a list of the titles y'all have, so I don't become you a book you already have for Christmas.  I wouldn't want to spoil our Christmas tradition.

JL

©Jack Linton, November twenty, 2016

This will exist my last weblog for 2014, so I desire to close the yr past saying thank you to everyone who took time to read the articles. A yr ago this month I set a goal to write and publish at least ane blog/commodity per calendar week. I wanted to write at to the lowest degree 52 articles that would get at least 1,500 views/readers by the terminate of 2014. To engagement, the weekly blogs have received xi,416 views and counting. I don't know if this number is good for a blog, just it is so much more I expected that it blows me abroad, but regardless of the number, I am honored and humbled by the readers who followed and shared my blogs throughout the twelvemonth.

The topics varied from nonsense to serious issues, merely whatever the topic, I did non shy away from stating my opinion. At that place were a few who took exception with my outlook, just many more voiced their support. I say thank yous to both groups: Cheers to those who took exception with my views and caused me to slow down and expect at things from a different perspective; and, a special cheers goes to those who supported me and gave me the encouragement and courage to continue writing. One affair I learned through this process is that the daily headlines are a great source for writing topics, but information technology takes a lot of work to become beyond the headlines to discover a new topic or angle calendar week afterward week. Yet, my goal was non to just notice a topic, but to create a piece that would make the reader call up, smile, or end and say, "What the hell?" If I failed to do any of those, I failed as a writer by leaving the reader indifferent. Hopefully that did not happen, but if it did, I apologize, and give thanks the readers who stuck with me.

Looking back over the 52 blogs, it is like shooting fish in a barrel to see that at to the lowest degree half dealt with didactics. That is understandable since I spent 37 years in education as a teacher, coach, and ambassador, but fifty-fifty more than important I believe education is i of the nearly crucial issues facing Mississippi. So, I decided to visit the topic i more fourth dimension for this terminal blog and share my Christmas Wish Listing for Mississippi Education. Of course, the greatest single thing that could happen for didactics would be for everyone to put their differences bated and work together for the common good of all children in Mississippi. Who knows, maybe Santa Clause has a miracle in his handbag for 2015 – stranger things take happened.

My Christmas Wish List for Mississippi Education:

1. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is for Mississippi legislators to make education a priority and fully fund instruction;
2. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is for Obamaphobia to not arrive the way of doing what is all-time for our children's education;
3. ALL I Desire FOR CHRISTMAS is for state political leaders and educators to terminate looking at each other as adversaries and begin working together for what is best for the didactics of our children. Of course, the only style that will happen is for state educators and land legislators to learn to trust and respect each other;
4. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is for the Governor and Lieutenant Governor besides as all Mississippi Legislators to heed to state educators from the State Superintendent on downwardly who accept embraced Common Core Standards every bit what is best for our children. After all, the educators are the experts;
5. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is for the Mutual Core naysayers to look at the standards before accepting everything negative they read on the Internet or hear through the grapevine as Common Core gospel;
6. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is for our political leaders to put their political ambitions aside and practise what is best for our children's education;
7. ALL I Desire FOR CHRISTMAS is for Mississippi educators to present a united front end and let their voices exist heard loudly and clearly in back up of what is academically best for children; and
8. ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS is for all Mississippians regardless of their stand up on Common Core Standards or whatsoever other education issue to put their politics and differences bated and take a joyous and Merry Christmas with their families and friends while remembering the birth of Christ as the reason for the season.

Merry Christmas to all who made this blog writing experiment a success in 2014, and may God bless each of you and your family during this joyous season!

JL

©Jack Linton, Dec 17, 2014

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